He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
