he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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