Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I will be naked everywhere
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
