could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
