Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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