I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
