Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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