Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it because I queefed?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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