I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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