So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
