Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
