Nicole vs. Life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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