Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
