Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
