nut hugger
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is it because I queefed?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
