he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just google imaged poop.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
