she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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