Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
