people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
