just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just threw up on my dentist
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
