He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
