real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
