So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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