We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
