we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
