great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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