every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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