So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
