I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
