Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
