Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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