That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
