Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
