Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
