Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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