Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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