Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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