even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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