I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
