If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
