She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
