69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
