make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
