i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
