are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
