What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
