I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am available for nakedness
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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