At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
