Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
