All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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