I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
