6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
