I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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