pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
